the year i re​-​gifted my heART

by NathanAnthony

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about

As a starving artist, it is super important to me to give my loved ones meaningful gifts, yet it is financially difficult. So, this year I decided to give my "gifts", my talents, to those I love as a means of providing them with meaningful presents for their birthdays. I will release a song on the birth date of many of my family members. I pray that these songs touch their hearts and lives and those of others. Peace and Love.

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released January 31, 2012

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SoulAnchorCollective San Diego, California

Soul Anchor Collective is an independent record label comprised of like minded artists who work 9 to 5, yet see their music (art) as something they can't not do. The label was founded by Nate "NathanAnthony/KnewBalance" Whitsell in 2010. 2011 was a year of testing the waters, and 2012 looks promising with forthcoming albums from NathanAnthony, thePiecemakers and more. ... more

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Track Name: NathanAnthony - I Love You This Much, Mom
I love you this much mom
with both arms out stretched
i love you this much mom
and i’ll never love you less
love you this much mom
to infinity from womb
i love you this much
i love you to the moon (x2)

VERSE 1
don’t know what to say
when I start to put the words down
we had some rainy days
i know part of us is hurt now

which is why I have to start this song with an apology
i’m sorry for days past when i treated you awefully
and it’s hard to admit that I’ve been wrong
it’s probably why i chose to put it into song

but please know that I’ve loved you all along
even tears you’ve caused have help to make me strong

i’m so sorry for my acts of disobedience
not learning from mistakes and i ended up repeating em
if i could i’d go back in time deletin’ em
think about my words before i end up speakin em
i was freakin dumb
i was freakin young
but i know my that my young dumb words still stung
still rung
inside your ears
it’s still love
despite the tears

VERSE 2
since day one youve been my number one fan
i want to color you handed me a crayon
i want to build you helped me with the plans
i made mistakes you gave me nother chance

i can’t say that it’s always been perfect
but i can say that its been worth it
when i felt worthless youd help me find my worth in
the only one worthy of our worship

you’ve encouraged me as i’ve found my purpose
your love that’s always fervent would look beneath the surface

push me and challenge me
push me and balance me

somethin like a balance beam
becuz life is challenging

so you challenge me to go beyond my limits
and you taught me it’s not over til its finished
and that the gospel’s something that you live in
and if you want it go and get it

VERSE 3
this past christmas you became a grandma
and he don’t like the title but ken became a grandpa
i’m so thankful that both of you are caring
because my son... will get to share in
love from the heavens by way of his grandparents
and i hope that relationship is one that he will cherish
well let’s get back to the reason that i wrote this
in this life it’s easy to lose focus
it’s easy not to notice
the people right in front of you
something i don’t want to do
a lot to do is no excuse
“momma”
not to take the time out just to tell you
what you mean
what youve done
and how it has affected me
you protected me
never once neglected me
with love you made this recipe
taught me to love my enemies
taught me what it means
to see Jesus as a friend to me
you love forever blesses me
and will until the death of me....
Track Name: BananaCakes
Verse 1
everywhere she goes, the life of the party
from her head to her toes, lovin each heart beat
she walks the narrow road, life is what her art be
forever we’ll be close, love is never parting

from beginnin, daddy’s little princess
still a princess, now she’s rulin’ pinstress
so dope watchin her find where her niche is
so grown as she narrows down her interests

happy go lucky, even with a cast on
half full, even if the glass gone
emotional, even if she seems strong
intelligent, even if she seems blond

balancing challenges and she’s so talented
balanced with family all the while managing
having thee time of her life with her friends
gets a little rest and then does it all again

Chorus
it’s a long road but beautiful’s the journey
a girl whose never worried and always in a hurry
it’s a paradox but damn she cares a lot
starin off into the clouds and she’s never coming down

Verse 2
better late than never, better clear than clever
better now than ever, new chapter to be entered
centered, though theres still a long and winding road
weathered, the storms that have only helped you grow

so, now that we’re here, we’ve been there
and it’s clear that way care from the way that we share
when we only used to fight, and now it’s all love
okay we still fight, but it ends with a hug

belle of the ball, all beauty no beast
blessing us all, from the food to the speech
and the truth that you speak when we talk as we eat
or we walk down the street, just to feel free

feel free to correct me if i’m wrong
feel free as you listen to this song
feel free as you’re barely hangin’ on
feel free as your praying to our God


Chorus
it’s a long road but beautiful’s the journey
a girl whose never worried and always in a hurry
it’s a paradox but damn she cares a lot
starin off into the clouds and she’s never coming down
Track Name: As Brothers...
v.1

i wish early on we could have been closer
maybe then when parents fought i could have just hold ya
i wish early on i could have been bolder
maybe then we wouldn’t have had wait til we were older

to get to know one anothers fears and dreams
to recognize we were on the same team
to get to know that theres life after the screams
to recognize that we just have to believe

if i could id go back save you from the pain
break the chains they put in place
take your place and bear the weight
wait, if only were just that simple
they were fighting demons
you got caught up in the middle

but this aint malcolm, this is not fiction
the scars are real, they were caused by friction
the type created by a parents diction
and now you have to find a way to clear your vision

i can tell you what i see, i can’t save you
but i can tell what i have seen hate do
and over years im becoming more grateful
for my two brothers who i now relate to

v.2

here’s the part where i tell you both i’m proud
i admire you and how youre turning
you inspire me evry time i turn around
playing in the silver lining of the clouds

graphic artist, business minded man
finds a plan don’t give a damn about the thoughts of another man
and so you stand on your word and your potential
and make it happen with a dream and your mental

as ethan finds that everythings as its meant to
even when life seems to bring an end to
everything you thought was ever true
and he’s clever too
found his way to believe that nothing can ever sever you

from the one who truly made us brothers
the one who chose our fathers and our mothers
the one who died because he loves us
and so our bond can never be undone
Track Name: Gene Anthony Whitsell
V.1

One of the most/beautiful hearts/this world has ever seen/but
always so close/to fallin apart/and tearing at the seams/cuz he
holds tight to hope/talkin bout ours/he gave up all his dreams/so
that we might hold/firm to our goals/my father’s name is gene...

memories of my father start with fishin in a lake
passin down our heritage and passin down our faith
passin on his face so that i can take his place
when we lay his bones to rest and he escapes into God’s grace

some other memories hurt because my parents got divorced
they would pass me back and forth and he would take me to the court
where we would play tennis it was like metaphor
these are things i’ve thought but never really said before

I love you dad i really should have said it more
put that to the side cuz this right here’s a celebration
from your gift from God
from your first born son
from your son Nathan
anthony whitsell

Chorus

a father filled with love/but wrestling with demons
passed both on to us/the torment and the dreaming
i wish that we’d been closer/in time and in space
at least as i get older my fam’ly feels your embrace

V.2

i remember riding bikes and playing in the park
i remember parents’ fights and how it hurt my heart
i remember how it smells riding in your car
i remember everything it made us who we are

and here we stand never to be the same
and in your hands you possess healing and some pain
i love you dad, the laughter and the strain
the sunshine and the rain that gave me warmth and washed the stains

looking at your smile i see my own face that’s reflected
and as your child i promise to always respect it
even when we don’t see eye to eye on life learned lesson
it guess that thats the essence of what honor you father’s stressin

blessed are the humble, blessed are the meek
and i saw our Father’s strength most when you were weak
behind this song is how i feel can’t explain it with my speach
but ill know that you feel it too by the tears that kiss your cheek
Track Name: CLV
Cristen Lorraine Vaughan

V1
Seven years old, my mom and step dad just had daughter
wonder if i wondered if he felt more like her father
than mine
will she cost me the time
we used to spend
will she become my foe or my friend
started as the latter
shattered that to tatters and back again
and had to mend the friendship
turned ten and the fighting seemed endless
didn’t end until I relented
poor lil sis young and defenseless
against this lil man stressin
due to feelin’ less than
i guess I learned my lessons
from a dad who used to use his words as a weapon
how’d it go wrong when all along i dreamed of being strong
when you needed protection
but now our memories are just a collection
of scars on our hearts
and bitter sweet recollections
of two little kids torn apart

Chorus
that I made some mistakes
but those are the breaks

that He can bear the weight
of our past and our pain

we’re made clean by his blood
so now we’re able to love

and i’m reminded of his grace
every single time we hug

V2
around 21, something in me changed
I started dealing with my issues and my pain
I fell to my face and let Christ begin to reign
and somehow you and I were friends again

its a mystery
but instantly
our misery

began diminishing
and injury
was history

and then a friendship
thats endless
cemented in a love thats relentless
extended
and life was replenished
and I couldn’t be prouder of the woman that youve become
nor could I be more ashamed of how dumb
i was but my love now is unconditional
proud of cris and trav, out there being missional
and as you continue to run to our savior
your vision’ll
only get clearer
i love my little sister crister bob
and even over the equator and separated by time our hearts
could not be nearer

Chorus
that I made some mistakes
but those are the breaks

that He can bear the weight
of our past and our pain

we’re made clean by his blood
so now we’re able to love

and i’m reminded of his grace
every single time we hug
Track Name: Kenny
V.1
Kenneth Alan Renick to complex for definitions
wishin that this livin could have remained just us sittin
on a sand dune in the sunset where our tears hadn’t run yet
but love gets heavy over time and we become its subjects

subjected to emotion
subjected to our past
subjected to not knowing
if your love this time will last

this first verse will hurt a bit
but listen’s all i ask
we’ve put each other through some shit
but now it’s in the past

and i’m past the way it felt when you used to be sarcastic
and i’m past the way it felt when your rules were so damn plastic
and i’m past the way it felt when our friendship became static
but i’m thankful for the fact that it’s prob’ly why i’m rappin

we went from friends at toys r us and riding on a bike
to friends who did some stuff but had our separate lives
to eff it then i guess i just cant do anything right
back to i love you and how you love hanan n kai

V.2
looking back at years gone by with with a slightly new perspective
ive become more grateful for the things you interjected
you instilled in me a work ethic and taught me what respect is
hidden in our ups and downs were important life learned lessons

in essence you taught me what it means to be a man
even when life held you down you found a way to stand
even when we got off course you held us to the plan
even though you couldve given up you never ran

and these are all the things that we shared because you stayed
i remember riding motorcycles in the rain
i remember you on the sidelines at my games
i remember sleeping under stars at the lake

i remember your love that fought through all your hate
i remember your face on every important day
and i want you to remember that i love you as my father
and still linger on your thoughts of me and every word you say
Track Name: love.
Verse 1
I never knew a love, love like mercy
I’ve never felt a heart, that beats like yours beats
Never looked in eyes, that see like yours see
I never knew a love, love like mercy, mercy
what erks me
is I was too blind to see the forest through the trees
i was too dumb to see there was more for you and me
but what i did see was your joy in spite the pain
the boy inside of Nate wasn’t ready for the weight
of what it meant to be your man
damn
so we played the role of friends n
enjoyed a friendship that probably felt endless
to precious princess in distress
stuck between
running away
and knowing who her prince is
thank God you didn’t dismiss
not sure that I could breath without your kisses
short of breath when there’s any distance
yours is the first face that I saw my misses

Verse 2
my home is by your side
i’m welcomed by your eyes
i cannot help but smile
and feeling like a child
remembering my feelings
as you walked down the aisle
it’s been seven years
and i’m fightin g back the tears
thinking of the feelings
that i’d feel if you weren’t near
my dear, it’s clear, that we’re
exactly where we’re spo’sed to be
you and me are poetry
take my hand and go with me
say a prayer and hope with me
holding me so complete no defeat
surrender all no retreat
when we fall grace is sweet
and the sweet taste of g race has placed your face next to mine
that’s divine blessed am I
to be the one to hold you love you adore you
pursue and explore you
to help discover more you
to continue moving toward you
to love you as our Lord loves the church
to love you when it hurts
I’m yours to have and to hold
until the day they lay me in the dirt
Track Name: Malakai Anthony
V.1
Malakai, look me in the eyes and please savor this
your mom and I prayed for this
so glad to have and raise our kids
to know that the greatest gift
is in who the Savior is

this'll only take a minute
listen

mommy took a seat and then she gave me the news
she said that we were pregnant so glad that it was you
we cried and we laughed and we held each others' hands
we only did those things because we were so glad
that she would be your momma and I would be your dad
sad about the fact that it takes nine months
not sure that i could wait that long to meet my son
I chose your name when i was only in the eighth grade
So i guess that you could say
that i'd been waitin for this day
since I was just a boy
knowing that our bond would bring us so much joy
your a dream come true
content to keep dreaming as your mommy's belly grew

V. 2
Breathe baby breath
you don't need the epidural
you told me that when you break
i'd have to be strong

push baby push
i can see the baby's head

with tears in our eyes
you took your very first breath

and now youre almost two
and i just love holdin' you
just to be close to you
watching God molding you

Threw us
he knew us
and grew us
for you love
a new love was born

and now we cultivate the person you were made to be
watch you grow patiently
go for walks and play with leaves
listen to you saying trees
teach you truth from make believe

to tell the truth
i'm loving every minute

i get to work and can't wait for it to finish
i love coming home and going to the beach
bicycle rides with your mommy you and me
but most of all I hope to teach you to be free